Exposing Emotions
by happylandfill
Summary: A look inside Jasper's mind - his view of the Cullen Coven and their emotions. Every chapter will be a different emotion - eg. anger, love, jealousy etc.
1. Anger

_ANGER_

The first time Bella stepped into our house, she understood I was a constant danger – the newest addition, the weakest link. Yeah, and it sucks. Everybody sees me as the one to watch out for. Whenever I smell human blood, whenever I get all worked up, everyone's like "Calm down, Jasper" when telling me to calm down is going to make me even madder. But now Bella's the new addition – but she isn't struggling, so, I'm still the weakest of us all, and I hate it. I'm the one who has to deal with everyone's emotions – Edward and Bella's radiating love, Alice's love (which I can deal with), Carlisle's perfect calm, Esme's perfect mirror of Carlisle's calm, Rosalie's beautiful jealousy, anger and hate (the three worst to put up with) and Emmett's happiness.

If something goes wrong, I'm expected to fix it. Bella wouldn't even be here if it weren't for me. Victoria would have finished her off years ago, and if Victoria hadn't, the Volturi would've done it for her.

When Bella came round for her birthday a couple of years ago, and she got a paper cut - how was I supposed to control that? How was I, at all, supposed to have expected that? Of course, when there's a tense moment or someone's upset, I can change the atmosphere to make everybody happy again. When I was human, I was really, unusually charismatic, so I guess that's what led to my control of emotions now, as a vampire.

There are really only two people I get along with really well. My soul mate, the love of my life, Alice; and my might-as-well-be-brother, Emmett.

Edward's always too involved with Bella – and ever since I lunged at her a while ago he never really forgave me and hasn't been exactly warm to me since. He puts up with me, we have some fun sometimes, but I can feel his negative feelings toward me. It's almost feels like I hate myself.

Rosalie – well really, where can I start? Whenever she sees Bella, her heart turns to steel. Not like she has a heart. Not like any of us do. Metaphorically, her heart turns to steel. Her emotions are the most powerful in the room – her negativity just hangs like a thick fog. It's like, she's jealous of Bella. She's jealous of her humanity, she's jealous of the way Edward looks at Bella, jealous of the way he doesn't look at her that way. She's not big headed – she is probably the most beautiful person I've ever seen – she's just used to men mentally undressing her when they see her. Staring at her. Edward doesn't do that; he doesn't even show an interest. She gets upset about that. She also gets upset that Bella had the choice between humanity and being like us, and Rosalie doesn't see it fair, because she didn't have a choice. She thinks Bella made a terrible choice, choosing to be like us rather than age, have a husband, and a job - an average human life.

Bella's the basic emotions – and some powerful stuff for Edward. It's so weird feeling what Bella feels. It makes me all warm and fuzzy. It's never lust with either of them – just pure love, the kind of stuff humans can never experience, no matter what they think or how hard they try. Her feelings are really hard to understand, but really easy to change. Maybe it's just a girl thing. It also makes me feel like I'm in love with Edward, which is why I usually tune out to Bella's emotions.

Carlisle is angelically calm. He doesn't panic about anything – so it's a bad sign when he does. A very bad sign. His almost albino complexion suits his personality so well, it's like he has the patience of a saint and the looks too. Not the bearded saints, though. The angel ones. Like Gabriel. If we were actually a human family – he would be such a good father. He has such good control of his vampire instincts – he's terrifying when he hunts but around humans, you can tell how old he is from his self control. He's a doctor – he deals with human blood every day. Of all jobs, it's like he's testing himself. He has a quiet love for Esme – not loud and obnoxious like Rosalie and Emmett, it's the kind of slow-going love that will be there until the end of eternity. It's only really Carlisle that uses the collective "family" term for the coven, though it is starting to rub off on me, and we all have to use it when we're out in public. He wants it to be like a family, he wants everyone to be included.

Emmett is the big brother of the coven. The jock. Everybody's best friend. He's always happy, and he grins like a little kid. He gives off the sensation that he's glad Rosalie is his – she's all he's ever wished for, but he can't help but worry if she sees someone better, he feels like she could leave him at any moment, at the click of her fingers. If she did that, I don't think I'd be able to kill her but I'd do something close to it. He's like a bear – all huggable and happy, big, strong, bright eyes, our coven would be missing without him.

Esme is the lovely mother of the group. Her personality is almost a mirror image of Carlisle's – they have the same temperaments, they think the same, they're completely in sync. It's like they've attuned their brains to each other to the extent that they have a telepathic link. Esme worries about everybody like a real mom. She has a calendar that plans out weekends to go "hiking" and has a thermometer thing that tells us the weather forecast for the following days so that we don't go out in the sun. She makes sure everybody's happy, cleans the house, and makes food for our human guests. She loves Carlisle – whenever she looks at him, she has a gleam in her eye, and this feeling emanates from her - love, woven over decades to form a tight, unbreakable web. She knows Carlisle will be with her for the rest of forever – forever being however longer we last.

And finally – _Alice_. Her happiness fills the room; she's the little pixie that sprinkles pixie dust on everyone to make them blind to the troubles they know and makes them all cheerful again. Perhaps with a bit of my help. Words can't even begin to describe how I feel towards Alice. I'm able to describe everyone else's feelings – but not my own. She's filled with so much love and happiness – if we found a way to convert it into electrical energy you could power the whole of Washington State with it. Without Alice – I wouldn't be with the Cullens. Without Alice, I'd still be out there, killing humans – a nomad. I can't even begin to imagine life without her. I guess I wouldn't know any better.

* * *

**PS: every chapter is going to be a different emotion - this is more of an introductory chapter but the way it begins shows anger, so i called this chapter Anger. **

**all credits go to stephenie meyer, of course, now one of the most famous authors ever  
**


	2. Resignation

_RESIGNATION_

"JASPER WHITLOCK HALE CULLEN PERSON BROTHER THING!" I heard Bella yell from upstairs. She still hadn't gotten the hang of my name.

"Coming," I said, but by the time I'd finished saying it I was already there.

"Which one?" She asked, holding up two different forms of lingerie.

I cringed. "Can you not ask Alice?" She laughed. "No! She won't be able to tell me if it's sexy or not. I need a male opinion," She stared at me for a few seconds. "So which one?"

I shut one eye and pointed to the one on the left – a grey and bubblegum-pink lacy bra with frilly fabric trailing off it.

"Thanks, Jasper!" She shunned me out of the room and locked the door behind me.

We were all packing to go to Isle Esme again, so everybody was rushing around, getting annoyed with everyone – even Carlisle was losing it. The house was chaotic. I leaned against Bella's door and stared ahead, tuning into everyone's emotions out of boredom.

Edward was out in the forest, hunting with Emmett, so I couldn't feel their emotions. Bella was excited, happy, but most of all stressed – this was her first holiday since Edward got her pregnant.

Alice was packing mine and hers suitcases in our room, and she was stressed out too – I don't know what about though.

And, as always, Rosalie was angry and fixing the car (that doesn't need fixing) in the garage. She couldn't be bothered packing. Alice was probably going to do it for her. She wanted to pack Bella's for her too, but Bella refused to let Alice pack, especially after last time they went to Isle Esme and all Alice packed was sexy lingerie. I don't know where she finds this stuff, seriously, because she doesn't buy it when she's out shopping with me and I'm basically the only person that would survive a shopping trip with Alice.

The door to mine and Alice's bedroom opened, and she sauntered out. She laid a finger on my chest. "Edward's about to catch a Kodiak bear," She said absent mindedly. "He got split up from Emmett, but they'll no doubt regroup in a few minutes." I nodded, and she looked at me thoughtfully. _Love, pride. _I stared at her.I should have seen this coming.

"No." I said.

"Please," She said, looking hurt.

"No, Alice,"

"Just one makeover. I promise; no makeup or nail polish this time." I shook my head. "I _promise,_"

"Why am I always submitted to your disastrous makeovers? Why not Edward or Carlisle?"

"Because I know none of them will give in if I ask them," She said, sticking her tongue out. I sighed, and held my arm out. She squeaked with happiness, and dragged me downstairs and into the living room, pushing me onto the sofa. She moved the coffee table away from the sofa, sat on the floor in front of me and whipped out a gold and beige patterned bag. I presume it holds magical beautifying utensils.

"Eyebrows." She stated.

"Yes, I have two of them." I pointed to them in mock seriousness. She slapped my hand away.

"Yes, yes, I know, we need to wax them, you've got Edward-caterpillars," I laughed and stroked my eyebrows thoughtfully.

"Perhaps you should wax Edward's, then," I suggested.

"He'll never let me," She said as she pulled out a pair of tweezers and a box of thin wax strips.

She pressed a wax strip onto my forehead, and stroked a finger across it, then did the same on the other eyebrow.

"This is crazy, you know," I said, grinning.

"No, it's not. At least you'll look nice when we go to the island." She said, concentrating on the wax strips.

"Who is there to look nice for? It's just us Cullens – after all, it is our island," I laughed. She ripped off one of the strips quite violently, and I winced. It didn't hurt half as much as it would hurt a human, but it still hurt. I rubbed where she had ripped the hair off.

"Don't touch it," She said, batting my hand away. She ripped off the other strip, and I winced again. She sat back on the floor, and looked at me curiously. "There. Now you're all pretty!" She rooted through the bag.

"How much of this torture must I endure?" I asked, faking exhaustion.

"Well…" She extracted a small metal instrument from the bag. I sighed.

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

_called resignation because he like resigns to alice and lets her give him a makeover :')_

_all credits to stephenie meyer, of course  
_


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